As I lay here beside my sleeping Jee, I wonder what my future holds... what our future holds. Where will we be in 40 years time (and I know ive asked this question before), but i mean, what will I be doing. We live for now and I know I will do everything I can do keep her by my side but to what extent? What at first seemed like a Forever of endless possibilities now feels like the countless have become the counted. As if the stage to it all has been set and as the Acts follow, the curtain has started to draw. I know what I want to do with my life right now and I know what I want to be doing in 40 years time.
I can imagine it now - a family, a home, a happiness I now know exists and that flourishes. Something that grows inside me as its vines slowly wrap against my very soul and as Jee and I grow together, it grows too. A growing happiness. A living happiness. A happiness that sparks in this moment in time and exists in all dimensions of time and space. It seeps through each layer and melds them all together; sews them in and stitches my destiny into one straight path.
She stirs now. Does she share the same dream as I do now?
Something that has always blown my mind is the idea that our universe exists with as one big bio-blob. An entity that exists and functions so to speak. As if everyone and everything in this living platform - every molecule, every cell, every spark of energy that all functions together, including the complexities of human existence... all of it forming one single entity. That's what I believe in. I guess you could call that God?
One thing is for sure, I love my sleeping Jee.